A Poem For Hard Days
I let my cat lick the salt off my fingers
while everything falls apart
My ramshackle version
of meditation, some days
Watching her groom my tired body
Closing my eyes softly
succumbing to the haze
just for a moment, as a treat
A small vacation kept quiet
in a world that demands
I toil in the bed they made
I’m used to it lately, the falling apart
I’m settling in nicely
to a jagged nervous system
rattled by reality
Not in a crisis sort of way
Just the regular monotony of overload
Where your shoulders tighten, knowing
That there are always 26 important things
left to do at day’s end
When you finally let your lids close at 11:49pm,
Precisely 7 hours to the minute
Before you’ll open them again
And get back in the saddle
Heart of soggy sadness, dragging
Trying to think thoughts in the fog
of another day
I nod to my anger, in the corner
She is always with me
And I try, I do
To tuck a blanket around her legs
To let her be, over there
To bring her a hot cup and tell her
I hear you, woman, I see
She is wild, resistant to confines
Watches me quietly while I cry
Wiser than I am, I think
No one is coming to help with the dishes,
she finally tells me
No one will turn your shoulders
toward the sun, I hear her say
Go out and gather the sticks in the yard
Pick your head up
Unload the dishwasher
Clean out your car
And the corners of your soul
You left to rust
Expel the tears of the day
I’ll go with you, she says
And I see her, my anger, for the first time
As a friend in the dark
Capable of softness, craving it, even
So I let her take my hand
Let her words land
You were tricked and left for dead
But you’re not done, my love
You just woke up
Realized you’ve had enough
So what will you do, then
Tuck yourself
quietly back into the grave?
Or stretch the groaning
joints of your frame
Salute the sun
And stand
And walk
And run
—
A note of thanks from me to you for those of you reading: Thank you for taking interest in my writing! You can find me on Instagram at @yourknowing, and you can support me elsewhere at my business at marigoldcurated.com where I sell a curated selection of second hand goods. If you are looking for heartfelt support during tough times of loss or transition, you can check out my phone-a-friend offering based on a sliding scale payment (find the 30 minute session or 60 minute session here) where I offer a calm, compassionate, and confident ear to those who may find leaning on friends or family difficult in tenuous times.
Thank you as always for reading and sharing. Big love to you this week!