Just Show Up

on doing something over nothing

One of the biggest obstacles I’ve faced the last several years is getting past the paralysis of totally overthinking things for so long I end up doing nothing at all. I unintentionally took on the belief that if I didn’t accomplish something flawlessly on the first attempt, there was no point in trying or being seen at all.

This mindset has stopped me from making an unimaginable amount of progress, because when we don’t start at all, we miss out on the whole experience. I spent years avoiding all kinds of things: business ideas, community building, house projects, life changes. All because I couldn’t fathom doing something less than SPECTACULAR on the first attempt. I was so afraid of judgment that I did nothing at all and felt a false sense of safety that never truly satiated me.

I’ve settled into a much more spacious frame of mind now, accepting that it’s never been about one spectacular project made with finality. It’s never been about creating a masterpiece on the first try, whether we are talking about our own lives or the things we put out into the world.

Of course there’s no shame in wanting to make something great. I do want to do great things. But I can’t get there when I’m taking everything I do so damn seriously and holding back every iteration of a thought until I think I have it perfect, in a way that will dazzle everyone and bother no one.

This is re-shaping how I view the day to day. It’s not just that I don’t have to make something great ASAP, it’s that I’m much less likely to make something great if that’s my standard every time I put the pen to paper, every time I go for a run, every time I try to flesh out a new idea, or create a piece of art, or speak my mind.

You’re not going to change your life overnight. You’re not going to stick the landing the first time you decide to take a leap. And asking yourself how you can come at the entire process differently might change you.

I show up to write not because I have a million dollar idea to publish, but because regular expression is what brings clarity and material to work with further. I show up to move my body not because I think I’m going to solve all my physical ails in one day, but because the act of caring for myself and tuning in feels oddly romantic in this new way of living. I show up for my daily routines even when my feelings aren’t aligned because it gives me the framework in which I can reliably express and create.

I take leaps before I fully conceptualize the next 20 steps after that because I know that pretending I’m “just such a planner” is actually me trying to find a way out of the courageous act of leaping at all. Life is full of rough drafts. Life is full of circling back and reshaping. It’s not shameful! It’s the way it should be.

The next time you feel the urge to opt out of speaking, writing, painting, planning, leaping, sharing, showing up, see if you can reframe the meaning you’re making of the whole thing. The process is the point, not the product.

p.s. This week I will be releasing a new digital workbook called Better Stories, all about how to utilize affirmations and self-reflection to create tangible change in your life. It’s 30+ pages chock full of to-the-point material, journal prompts, worksheets, how-to’s and printables. My paid subscribers ($5/month) will be getting a hefty discount sent to them when the workbook releases, so keep a lookout later this week!

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I’m Jolie, a private coach, writer, and mother living in Columbus, Ohio. I teach women how to uncover their intuition and get past their fears of living authentically. You can find me here on Instagram, or if you’re feeling ready to get past your fear and excuses and get to cultivating your dreams you can work with me as a personal coach here. Thanks

for reading my publication! I am so grateful to have you here.